It wasn't as if they wanted to get married in the first place. The quest just required a marriage certificate. It wasn't like it meant anything, at all.
But still, that night as they sat in the inn, they caught each other's eyes, before flicking away to the window or a particularly interesting point on the wall.
It was Tobais who said what they were both thinking first. "So, if we're married... shouldn't we get.. some of the benefits?"
Even the most stubborn girl would flush red at that, tossing her boot at him. "In your dreams. And then only if you're really lucky."

"You used to be cute." Tobais frowns, eyes narrowed. She was anything from it, with her tattered-looking clothes and harsh demeanor. Clearly they'd grown far different tastes in fashion, as he was dressed head to toe in durable but comfortable fabric. Perhaps it had been the church that had made him notice the way most of the women of the world dressed so.... scantily.
"Yeah, well, you used to not give a damn whether I was cute or not." Rylee can't help but lift a gloved hand to her messy hair. Maybe she'd been letting it get too out of control. She looks uncomfortable for a second too long, though.
"You never noticed anything." He scowls, turning his back on her and heading to the inn early.
She can't help but be speechless.

When the wolf bites down on his arm, he tries to swallow the pain--but he can't help it. He lets out a short, clipped cry. Blood starts to stain his sleeve, and he yanks back, but that only makes the tear in his arm worse.
And her stomach absolutely sinks when she sees this--the monster is dead in a second, and she's almost stumbling across the field to make sure he's okay.
But he's a priest and by the time she's there, he's already healed it back to perfect shape. He blinks up at her with a sincere smile on his face. "Worried?"
She stammers. "O-Of course. I just--if you die out here, who's going to heal me?"

Her fingers trace his face for a moment, leaning forward to press her forehead against his. He sits on the bed, blinking, somehow embarrassed, somehow burning on the inside, as she kneels before him, half-straddling his legs.
It had been months and he wanted this. He wasn't sure if he wanted it because they were married, or if it was because it was her, but he wanted this. So when she leans in, hand in his hair, and he can feel the leather of her glove on his neck, and the heat radiating from her face, all he can think is "I should want this."
But the should is prominent, just long enough for him to realize that should is a problem, and he pulls away.
"But--"
"Goodnight." He tucks his legs up, wondering if he was right--wondering if that "should" was because the "should" was in her mind, too.

Subtitled: I can't stand the treatment of women in this game.
Subsubtitled: The anime is making it worse.
Subsubsubtitled: Also, Rise.

So I've had this thought stream several times on my plurk, but I think it might be better to just have it on my journal for future reference so I can leave my poor plurk alone.

Now, as a disclaimer? I actually really like Persona 4. A good 60-70% of the game is wonderful, depending on whether you're going bad end/good end/true end. And most of the guys are likable and interesting. The designs are really cute, and the concept and execution are actually really thought provoking. One of my favorite characters in video game history is from this game. Of my top 3 OTPs? One is from this game. The music is wonderful, though I do wish it was a little more varied, or that you had a choice in the dungeons (I had to stop playing Mitsuo's dungeon several times because it gave me terrible headaches, and I couldn't turn the volume down without getting mauled by shadows).

The game had a lot of thought-provoking issues in it, too. Kanji and Naoto's shadows especially, I think, are both well-loved for a reason. Personally? Chie's hit home for me. It did a good job of offering a familiar situation and showing what was wrong with it, and the wrong way to fix it.

But, unfortunately, the game had this one big flaw of not showing us the right way to fix it unless you did the social link, which is completely optional and not necessarily easy to finish. That's a later problem, for when I get to Naoto, I think. For now, I want to start at the beginning, where my issues start.

The Original Team

When you first start the game, there's two guys, two girls and a bear thing.

Of this core cast, I really love Chie and Yosuke. They're two of my favorite video game characters, and I have an extreme bias toward them. But I have a concern when it comes to them, that will pop up several more times.

Yosuke's story is deeper and is more developed than Chie's. The game gives you more to connect to with him. Yosuke's recently moved to a small town from the big city. He's had to deal with leaving everyone he cared about behind, making a new name for himself in this town. The town has new and different ethics from the city. Yosuke's personality just doesn't mesh with most people. He has some severe issues with being alone to begin with, and then you add Junes on top.

Yosuke's dad manages the new, local Junes. Junes is putting family-run shops out of business, and despite the fact that his father had no part in deciding JUNES GOES HERE, and Yosuke had even less of one, Yosuke's treated poorly from the beginning. It's his family's fault that the shops are closing their doors.

Finally, he finds someone who's kind to him, who he really comes to like, genuinely, despite her poor attitude a lot of the time. He really, genuinely, cares about her, goes out of his way to help her, and it's kinda sweet.

She dies. Not only does she die, but after looking into her death, Yosuke finds out she hated him. She thought he was stupid, she blamed him for her problems. It's a staggering blow to him, and it hurts him all throughout the game.

I dare you to tell me that thinking about it in that perspective doesn't make you care about him just a little.

Compare this to what you know about Chie.

Chie's lived in a small town her entire life, and since she was young she's been best friends with Yukiko, after she took in a stray dog Yukiko found. Chie's always lived in Yukiko's shadow, never as feminine, never as beautiful as her friend. She's loud and outspoken. She loves kung fu and is not girly in the least bit.

She wants to protect people, and she's kind to newcomers. She has an inferiority complex, causing her to want Yukiko to need her.

She beats up Yosuke a lot because he's a total and complete asshole to her.

... Is there much else?

Now, I mean, it's easy to fill in some of the gaps. Her relationship with Yosuke is a painful one because he plays on her insecurities. He repeatedly tells her she's not cute like the other girls, not beautiful, not sexy, not girlish. He equates her to being unnecessary several times. She acts angry when she's upset because she doesn't want people seeing her weak. She's passionate and hopeful because someone has to be. She's what other people need her to be.

But none of that is played up in the game. None of what makes me ache about Chie is in the game, none of what makes me hurt for her is ever focused on, ever really mentioned, it's all implied.

But fact of the matter, other than the cliches about her character, Chie is incredibly underdeveloped. Her personality is mostly left untouched in the game. Repeatedly, her issues are brought up without being regarded as issues (excuse me, let me just point out the beauty pageant discussion on the roof where Yosuke flat out implies she's not as feminine as the other girls). Chie is a trope. A cliche. She has no background and little depth.

An that really hurts for me, because I feel like I get Chie a lot of the time. I've felt the same way as her.

But Chie isn't the worst example.

What, exactly, do we know about Yukiko.

She helps her mother run the Amagi Inn. Guys like her, but she doesn't notice. She's shy and quiet, but she laughs weird at inappropriate things.

She helps her mother run the Amagi Inn. She doesn't necessarily want to?

... She's pretty?

Okay if we're gonna go by depth here, Yosuke is a cube, 3D. He's got depth, importance and development. Chie's kinda like a box. She has importance, but little depth, and her development falls short. Yukiko is a sheet of cardboard. She's got almost nothing. She's colorless, flavorless and transient. Because that's what the writers made her. And I feel bad for saying that because I'm sure if they worked harder to make her a character, she'd be wonderful. I really like the trope of kind girls, healers, the quiet type, if there's development and depth to it.

I mean look at my favorite girl character in existence. When a minor CLAMP girl is more developed than you, there's a problem.

I'll repeat: I actually like Yukiko, too.

Now of the main three characters who are supposed to have a personality, there is my issue.

It gets worse when I keep going.

The Underclassmen

The first years come a little late to this party, after the main four have already formed a team. Kanji Tatsumi, Rise Kujikawa and Naoto Shirogane. I have my issues with the last two. And they're big.

But first, I'll get Kanji out of the way. I really, really loved Kanji because he's one of those characters who seems like a total dickweed punk who gives no damns about anyone but himself. But in reality, he is a dork. He's sweet, easily embarrassed, confused and kind. Kanji is my third love in this game (there are four, the first two being Chie and Yosuke). He's actually fairly compassionate and he cares a lot about his mother. He likes kids and encourages him to do their best, and helps them out when he sees they're upset. It's sweet. It's a cliche, but it's sweet.

Kanji struggles with people expecting him to be one way when he's another. He wants to help people, but ends up scaring them off. He wants to sew and make cute things, but he has to keep this appearance of being a tough guy. He's afraid of people making fun of him because he's not as tough as he seems.

His mother runs the textiles shop and he wants to keep her in the best health he can.

He really is a good kid. I really do love him.

In comparison, let's look at Rise.

She's an idol who doesn't want to be an idol anymore because she didn't realize that part of performing is being a performer. (Really, Rise? You didn't realize that?) Her grandparents live in Inaba, where she moves after taking a hiatus from.... Idoling or whatever.

Do we know anything else about her? No. I went to her wiki and everything, that's all I got.

This seriously makes me hate Rise with every bit of me. On a completely side note, I haven't been touching the anime in this rant. It is a can of worms I am not normally willing to touch. But Rise is just plain unmemorable to me in the game, aside from a burning rage whenever I hear her voice, so I'm going to reference the anime's latest episode (9) to talk about her.

She is the whiniest, most annoying brat there is. She hiatuses, not giving a damn about the manager who set up so many concerts, events and deals for her. She comes to Inaba to run away from it. When he shows up, she insults him, is flat out rude, and then when he tells her someone else was given her part in a movie, SHE HAS THE FUCKING GALL TO GET MAD AT NOT ONLY THE PRODUCER, BUT YU. She took the hiatus, it's her own fucking responsibility.

Naoto is a special case.

You get a clear amount of backstory on her. Her family was killed in a car crash when she was a child. She comes from a famous line of detectives, an wants to be one herself. However, the field doesn't cater well to women. As a girl, she'd be treated as nothing more than a child. Despite her amazing detective work, she'd be ignored.

So she chose to live as a boy. The game very clearly says she's doing this because she will be taken more seriously. Not because she feels she is a male. In fact, her social link has her coming to terms with being a girl.

But that's just it. It's her social link.

Naoto's a pretty well developed character. She's closer to a cube than any of the other girls. But I'm afraid she gives a really bad message to girls who may play this game. Naoto's true issue with being a girl is never resolved--she isn't taken seriously by the police because of it. She doesn't fall into being a girl well. She acts much differently, in fact. She's uncomfortable with it, and it makes her personality weaker.

I'm not sure that's the message we should be giving to girls. Your ideas are only important if you don't have them as a girl. You'll never amount to anything so long as you act like a girl. Girls are not as strong as boys.

At least, that's how I saw it. Naoto made me uncomfortable as a girl.

My section on Teddie is going to be shorter than the rest of them, only because he's a bit of a confusion in and of himself. He's male, most certainly, but more in touch with his feminine side than most of the guys, barring Kanji. I love Teddie. He's a weird exception to the rule in a lot of ways. But one thing that sticks out as I've written and re-written this is that Teddie is the only S.link you have to complete, he is the only one who has to go through the personality change and maturity to get to his ultimate persona. He's the only one with a full fleshed-out story. Thinking back to Persona 3, this really bothered me.

References to P3 ; Tangent
It didn't take getting to know Minato for any of S.E.E.S. in P3 to understand who they were. They came to it themselves--some of them without a guy involved at all. Polyduces gave rise to Caesar after the death of Shinjiro Aragaki and the life changes that forced onto Akihiko. Nemesis to Kala-Nemi after Ken realizes that he must live for himself, as everyone else will leave him someday. I don't remember the order of the rest but Junpei's evolved after Chidori's death, Yukari's after finding out the truth of her father's death, Mitsuru's after coming to terms with her father's death, Fuuka's after her best friend leaves, Aigis' after she comes to terms with humanity.

All of these are brought on by simple changes in themselves. Minato helped with some of them, he didn't with others. These people/robot evolved on their own. They didn't hold the hand of the protagonist the entire way through. They became newer, more mature, better people not based on whether or not some dude talked to them/dated them/fucked them, but through their surroundings, their friends, the hardships of their own lives.

If there is one thing I will constantly compare to Persona 3, it is the fact that the characters in Persona 4 can't seem to do a damn thing for themselves. They're functionally stupid without Souji around, and this is somewhat disgusting and discomforting.
/references to P3 ; tangent

Now, I've already made my point that the boys are better developed than the girls. And the one girl who is fairly developed spends 75% of the game pretending she's a boy.

The Other Plot Characters

Now, let me go onto the other four plot-important women:

Yamano was involved in an affair with Namatame, which ruined her career. She was then murdered by Adachi via TV. Adachi's issue? She as a whore.

Saki? Well, I've already mentioned she was a bitch. She pulled Yosuke around, while he actually genuinely loved her. She hated him and was friends with him for what it could get her. She's murdered by Adachi via TV. Because she wouldn't sleep with him and she was a bitch.

Nanako was simply the sweet younger cousin of the main character, who had too much responsibility on her shoulders since the death of her mother. She's kidnapped and thrown into the TV where she is nearly killed. Killed in the bad end.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE MAIN VILLAIN IN THE TRUE END. Aigis Izanami. Now, I'm not too familiar with Japanese legends, but so far as I know, she's the wife of Izanagi, who died giving birth to Kagutsuchi, the god of fire. Izanagi went to retrieve her from the underworld, but upon finding out that she was hideous and already eaten by death, he abandoned her.

Okay I don't even think it needs to be explained that her as the main villain reeks of sexism :\ Especially when the main character's Persona is Izanagi. The one in the right is the one who abandoned her.

Are you serious, Persona 4?

Need I remind you the only girl who doesn't fall into a girlish stereotype is constantly being reminded of this? Even Naoto falls into one of these quickly becoming shy when she's called out on being a girl. Chie is the only girl who isn't completely girlish and she is CONSTANTLY being called unfeminine by Yosuke.

And don't forget, Yukiko, Rise and Naoto all had to be saved from their shadows after being kidnapped! Edit for misremembering something in canon. The only male character who was ever kidnapped was Kanji. Who is easily the one most associated with femininity among the fandom--considering everyone thinks he's gay. Which is not the subject of this. Regardless, he is the single male character who is kidnapped, and he is the one with the most feminine shadow of all. In contrast, the more masculine female characters, Chie and Naoto face their shadows under different circumstances. Chie goes to rescue Yukiko, and Naoto baits the culprit into throwing her into the TV.

Even the girls' shadows are feminine, Yukiko's a caged bird, Kanji's a flamboyantly gay man and Rise's a stripper. Compared to the shadows of the others in the IT: A ninja disco frog in camouflage, a dominatrix banana who sits upon a throne of girls, a scary ass teddy bear full of hipsters, and a laser-wielding robot. The dominatrix banana is... kind of feminine I suppose, but not really traditionally so. They're all masculine, domineering figures. And I think that says something--certainly they all need to be defeated, but this is the "true selves" of the characters.

I'd also like to point out that Namatame's shadow was some sort of angel. While such a thing is masculine in historical context, in popular media is is far more of a feminine symbol, the angel. Namatame is a victim in all of this, too. Not of kidnapping, but of mind games and false information.

The dungeons might also hold some context, here but I think I'm pushing it.

I can't even glue this together I'm so angry.

It seems like the girls in this game who aren't gods and who don't have Personas are just helpless victims. I don't know about the s.links, but at its most basic, the three other story-based girls are all victims of murder--Nanako is barely saved :\.

Meanwhile you have Adachi, Namatame and Dojima, all portrayed as strong, not a single one as a victim. Mr. Mooroka, another murder victim, is not a victim of the TV world, but dies directly at the hands of a male student from another school, eliminating the kidnapping aspect.

Really, Persona 4?

Let's recount a list of victims of kidnapping (who did not enter willingly or purposely) in Persona 4:

Mayumi Yamano
Saki Konishi
Yukiko Amagi
Kanji Tatsumi
Rise Kujikawa
Nanako Dojima

Now a list of people who entered willingly:

Souji Seta
Yosuke Hanamura
Chie Satonaka
Teddie
Mitsuo Kubo
Naoto Shirogane*
Taro Namatame
Tohru Adachi

*Again, Naoto was kidnapped, but she was baiting the culprit

I think I broke this down fairly simply. And I think I can sum it up in a simple few sentences.

Femininity in this game is consistently portrayed with vulnerability and weakness. Characters who are not necessarily conforming to their gender roles tend to find themselves in bad situations--Chie socially, and Kanji in the TV world, as well as socially. Teddie is just a bad situation in and of himself. Naoto is an exception to this rule, but, again, once she is outed as a girl, she becomes more feminine. Characters who are feminine are constantly portrayed as victims, and characters who are masculine are constantly in the roles of the heroes. Directly mentioned in the game is the comparison to Souji/Yosuke/Chie being "princes."

I know some of this seems like a stretch. Maybe the Izanagi vs Izanami thing is just bullshit and me finding things where they don't belong. Maybe I'm just biased because the character I associate with is constantly berated for not being girly enough. But the more I play the game and watch the show, the more I can't help but see it. In the midst of all the issues over Kanji's supposed sexuality in the show, I can't help but return to this. How did Persona 4 come out as seeming so hating of women? What is it's issue?

Maybe it's just a cultural difference. But the fact that so many people love the girls in P4 makes me think that's not the case at all. Maybe we're just a society that isn't ready for equality among fictional characters. Maybe the girls will always be damsels in distress and the boys will always be heroic prices. It's hard enough to write a female character without her being called a "Mary Sue," so I guess I can't blame them for forgoing development for women.

But I can blame a fuck ton of viewers, readers and gamers for enabling these rampant, ugly stereotypes. Not only enabling them, but praising them as "great characters."

This is a world where Bella Swan is praised as an awesome role model for girls by women in their mid-forties, and domestic abuse is considered romantic, while Ginny Weasley is considered a sexist portrayal of a women, nothing more than a romantic interest. And where people won't allow their children to read Harry Potter because of witchcraft, but Twilight is okay because it's about love.

Maybe I'm the one who's wrong about this, after all.

........ I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

“Don’t be so stupid next time.”

Minato almost grimaced as Akihiko scolded him. The leader had done something stupid and his senpai had every reason to be yelling at him. He tried to stay impassive and cool, but Akihiko’s deepening frown made him glance away.

“We’re a team--we fight together. All of us.”

Fuuka had tried to stop him, of course, when he’d insisted that he travel the tower alone, despite the entire team having fallen victim to the approaching-winter colds. But he shook his head and climbed the stairs of Tartarus with determination. He had to be able to make up the lost time of Aigis’ injury, of Shinjiro’s death, of Ikutsuki’s betrayal, of going in the wrong direction for month after month.

He’d been reckless. Of course Akihiko was mad. Fuuka’s phone call had alerted him as the last stroke of midnight died in the air. Presumably, the senior had been sleeping--hopefully he’d been sleeping.

But knowing him, Akihiko had been working out as normal, raising his body temperature higher and higher until he sweat out the fever.

I sense death!

Minato tensed, turning down the volume of his headphones to better listen to the halls of the floor. All he could hear was heavy breath and the sloshing of the occasional shadow. He opened his mouth to ask if she was sure when the shadow had attacked him from behind.

It was much stronger than him, and had him backed into a corner. With the first strike slamming hard into his back, Minato was instantly brought to his knees. If it wasn’t for his own stupidity and stubbornness, the shadow would’ve been easy to bring down. Weak to electric and ice--but it wasn’t letting him get a shot in.

What was worse--Fuuka was alerting him that the dark hour would be over within minutes. He had to get out of this now, or he’d be trapped in here for days, just like she had once been. He took a deep breath and rolled out of the way of another attack. It was so apparent that this was far beyond his level, he wondered if this was fate’s cruel sense of humor.

“Didn’t we ask you not to come here without either me or Mitsuru?” Akihiko shook his head as he gently pulled piece after piece of glass from Minato’s injured arm. “I didn’t expect you to be so stupid. I could see Junpei pulling a stunt like this--but you?”

“But--Aigis...” Minato’s protest was feeble. Even he knew that his teammate’s absence was no excuse to be reckless. The disappearance of his own personal guard robot was more of a reason to guard each step. She wasn’t there to protect him from the danger she was so sure existed around him.

“Aigis doesn’t matter. If you get killed in the tower, we’ll just lose another teammate.”

Minato did grimace that time. Partially from the pain as Akihiko pulled a piece of glass that was lodged farther into his arm than the rest, but partially because he hadn’t even considered that his senpai didn’t need to lose another friend and teammate.

No--! Please, get up!

He hadn’t realized there was glass to break in Tartarus. He hadn’t realized that a human body could make that sickening crunch along with shattering glass.

Stars danced across his eyes as the shadow looked down at him and seemed to laugh. Black curled around the edge of his vision as he hit the floor on both knees. All he could taste was metal and blood in his mouth. He was done. He had to be done. There was no way he was going to get back up. He felt warm spreading across his sleeve as blood dripped from the deep wounds in his arm.

. . .

. . . . . . . . .

It felt so nice to close his eyes... after a long fight, to rest................



No, goddamnit, he wasn’t dropping here.

He gritted his teeth, though blood dripped down his scalp, though his arm burned with pain, completely immobilized, though he knew getting down the stairs before the Dark Hour ended was going to be impossible. He only had one chance--as the shadow reacted in surprise to his revival--to drive the sword home.

And then the sword clattered to the ground.

“Senpai, I--” But he couldn’t get a word in. Akihiko shot him a look and tore out another peice of glass. He’d been at it for nearly an hour now. His white shirt sleeves were dyed red to his elbows with Minato’s blood.

“Just don’t do it again.”

There was an almost comfortable silence between them as finally, finally the last shard of glass was gone from his arm. Akihiko had removed his gloves for the delicate task. Minato examined the long-healed scars. He supposed they were from fights as a child, from boxing for so long. He supposed the slight unnatural curve to two or three of Akihiko’s fingers was from breaks early in his boxing career. He also supposed he’d fought through them anyway.

“There. You should be fine once we get you back to the dorm.”

Minato was only vaguely aware that he’d somehow made it back to the garden of the school before the Dark Hour had ended, tumbling down the last fight of steps and landing at Fuuka’s feet. He couldn’t remember moving afterward... but he couldn’t remember not moving, either.

He’d really screwed himself up. Akihiko straightened from his crouch at Minato’s side. “Summoning a Persona is too risky here. We might be seen, and we don’t want to get any weird questions.” Breaking his serious expression, Akihiko looked pained. “Mitsuru wouldn’t let us live it down, come on.”

Minato took his outstretched hand, relying heavily on the older boy to pull him up before stumbling and nearly falling on his face again. A glance at this pathetic display was too much for Akihiko, and he tugged the hand he was still clenching over his shoulder, wrapping his own free arm around Minato’s waist.

Again, Minato opened his mouth to protest, but Akihiko stopped him. He wasn’t looking Minato in the eyes when he spoke again. “I had to drag Shinji home from enough fights that this isn’t a problem.”

The walk back was silent, but not tense. And as Minato watched Akihiko’s face, calm and determined, he realized that he wasn’t looking ahead, but looking back, to when he carried his best friend in the same way.

And, even though it hurt to move, even though he was just looking forward to getting home and collapsing in bed, and even though he dreaded Mitsuru’s reaction to his own stupidity...

Just this once, he was glad to remind his senpai of a simpler, happier time.

Series: Persona 3/Fatal Frame
Characters: Ken Amada, S.E.E.S.
Summary: The Tattooed Curse affects those who blame themselves for surviving.

( Why did I survive...? )